Cali

so the road has been ruff but i have finally made it to my blog spot safety again. i have to do all my e-mailing at the library and for some reason i was having loads of problems logging on to my gmail, therefore i couldn't get on my blog spot.
so i'm here. i made it without dying and i must say i have pretty much settled in. i have found a new job at a thrift store where i have plenty of opportunities to practices my Spanish. the first day no one talked to me in Spanish except one person, coworkers included. now it's been three days and people only seem to talk to me in Spanish. even if i have never met them before. it's fun, but i've got to learn how to say numbers better in Spanish! heaven forbid the bill come to $7.67, i wouldn't be able to say it.
i have settled in to my ward as well, i'm not to crazy about it. let's just put it this way it's not BH2 and no one needs me like i was needed, but it's good for me to step back and realize that the world can turn without me. i have met two people that i think that i'm going to be good friends with. one is named Rick, he's a recent convert and then there is Shelly, she is really tall and VERY nice. we get a long very well. and it seems that i have seen my future husband. i thought that he was Tongan at first because he was so tall. but it turns out he is Mexican. so he's Mexican, tall and has a fantastic signature... what more could a girl want? right?!?! anyway, i also heard him speak some English and he's got a really hot accent. now all i've got to do is met him! :o) then the church bells shall ring!
i have been spending lot's of good times with Sanchez and Lilly. so i have no real complaints. i just want to find a second job, otherwise i won't have enough money to even make rent let a long my bills or food. so i'm getting on that one too. i'm hoping that i will get a job working the graveyard shift at Denny's as a waitress. :o)
that last thing that i want to report on is the men here in California... they are so different!! they actually talk to girls! i went to a dance and guys actually talked to me! ones that i didn't know!! and don't even get me started about the ones that come up to me while i walk up and down El Cajon, the street that i live off of. this one told me that i was so pretty that he would suck my toes if i let him "be my man". those guys are creepy and sometimes i fear a little for my life, mostly one i think the creeper that was staring at me trough the window at work was gonna follow me home. but the truth is that though it is a little creepy, it's nice that least some people think i'm worth hitting on. even if they are the scum of the earth... :o)
all in all i am happy. i am sorry that it has been so long. i will try and get on more so that i can tell you all about the good happens as they happen! i love you guys and hope that you are all well!

so i'm sitting here in Michigan for the my last here, for a long time. i have many mixed feeling. today has been a world wind for me. but something has happened that has settled a a doubt that i have had for a long time. see, when i first got home i was hog wild about leaving as soon as i could and i sure did try a few times. i felt justified having had a spiritual confirmation that i should go out west. so you can imagine that i felt that this year was super hard for me because i wasn't "following" what God told me to do, i kept finding myself wondering what sorts of wonderful things that the Lord had planned for me if i had done what i thought he wanted me to do.
however, today has made it very clear to me that the Lord had me on HIS time table. i had a few important things to do before i left. some things had to be made right, some friendships had to be made, while others had to be tested. i had lessons that i had to learn, mostly about myself and what i want out of life. there where people here that i am sure God had me stay to help them with a few things.
you may ask how i figured it all out in one day? well, the Lord has a funny way of letting you know at the last minute. i spent the day running around visiting people, some said thank you others expressed it in less orthodox ways (aka awkward straddling) but all in all it was manifested to me that i had been left here for a reason, and that i am going for one too. that the time is right and although i am so scared right now i am comforted in knowing that the time is finally right. i can hear the words Dr.Seuss echoing in my head as i sit here, and it kinda says expresses how i feel right now quite nicely.

"On and on you will hike and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know.
You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So...be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Brayor
Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!"

i guess it's time for a new adventure... :o)

thanks everyone, i love you guys!

so i have been without Internet for a few days and it has been killing me... really i think it really has. there have been a few things that i feel i wanted to talk to you guys about, or just tell you about, like i can remember people saying to me "Amanda you should write a blog about this..." but for the life of me i can't remember what these fantastic moments where, just that i HAD to write about them, danit! i hate that!
so i'll just write about what i want to write about.
so i'm moving... i mean i really am moving. it's so real right now that it's starting to freak me out a lot. last Friday i went to lunch with (oh i just remembered one of the things that i "had" to write about. but let me finish this thought and then i'll tell you about that) ... my co-worker at our favorite Thai place. then on Saturday i got my last check and gave Jake my key to the salon. i was feeling a little weird but i couldn't put my finger on what it was. i knew i was coming back on Tuesday to say good bye, clean out my station and get a pedicure so it wasn't that i was sad to say good by just then, i didn't know what my problem was. then when i got in the car i looked in the mirror and realized that i had hives all over my neck and chest. i was freaking out. i get hives when i freak out. that's when i realized that i was unemployed for REAL and that i no longer had a source of income AT ALL and it made me want to scream, run back inside and beg for me job back. i didn't, don't worry. but i am grateful for my run at Jakob Kowley Salon, it's been a good one and i will always love the people that i got to know there. for real.

ok, now the thing that i just "had" to tell you all about. there is this little jazz cafe that is only open in Friday nights in downtown Detroit and for months i've been wanting to go. so i went last Friday. drove with Will and Nate there and we met up with Jen and Jimmy. it was fun. however... i learned a very important lesson that night, and that is... are you ready for it? that just because a man runs up to your car in a lot and tells you where to park doesn't mean he's really the lot attendant and that i should not give him my money because it may just be a jerk duping me out of money. that lesson has been learned and i can now move on with my life. :o) all in all the jazz bar was cool. afterwards we walked about D-town till we found this cool ice cream shop that was a favorite of Jimmys'. we got this thing called, something like "cream delight" and it fed all six of us while we watched old Jackson 5 routines on the shop TV. i also learned that you can only sign the wall of famous people if you really are famous. i know i asked, and apparently i wasn't famous enough. :o( one day i guess! :o)

Mr. Radio Man

so i have a bone to pick with the local radio station.
lately i have been listening to the radio, i go on spurts from listening exclusively to either radio, ipod or cds and at this current moment in my life i'm on the radio kick. it has been so long that i forgot about this little thing that they do that just bothers me a bit.
what they do to let you know that they play the best and better music then other people is they saying something like "89x where you'll always find the best alternative rock!!" then they proceed to play clips of some of my favorite song. so then i get all excited to hear those songs. but you know that they won't play those songs, because they just played the clip. it's such a tease!! i hate it! then they play these songs that are so stupid!
so i'm like this... if you really do play the best songs Mr. radio man, then let's just play 'em, don't act like you're gonna only not too. that's being mendacious and i don't like it very much, thank you very much!
that's my bone and i just picked it.

Ann Marie's Shower

Today was Ann Marie's shower, and i am so thankful it is done. my mother has been nothing but pure crazy because of it and it really is a nice now that it is over. with that said it was a very nice shower and i got to see a lot of people that i really love, and though it was a mad house i was glad to see Ann Marie happy, Britten had fun because she did some of the games and Mom's hard work paid off. but i'm not going to lie, and i think that all would agree that the best part WAS THE CAKE!!! it truly was AMAZING!! i mean, i could for sure work on some of my skills working with foundent and perhaps some day the cakes i make will look perfect like i want them to, but for what it was it was good. see here is a picture.

it was inspired by the book "the Hungry caterpillar" he does all his art work with tissue paper so everything is really textured looking so i marbled the foundent with a few different colors. i have to give some credit where credit is due.
first to Will, it was his idea to use the sour sticks for the hair and to make the inside to be "red velvet" flavored, i still don't know what that flavor is, but it's yummy.
then to Ann Marie who lovingly put every little hair in the cake and she did so with so much care and "skills" :O) apparently that was the only thing that she can do with this sort of stuff. turns out that my terribly talented musically inclined sister can't do artsy stuff to save her little. so i had much joy making fun of her skills making strawberries that strongly resembled pizza. it was VERY amusing for me, we had a good time doing it. it was good bonding time.
All in all i liked how it turned out and i had a lot of fun doing it. and i loved that everyone told me that i was just "so good" that i "really out did myself!" it felt good. i'm not going to lie.
PS i have a weird look on my face because the cake was surprising heavy and i didn't want to drop the cake so it just got a little awkward towards the end.

Grandma Arlene

last week i got some news that no one wants to hear, my grandmother on my fathers side pasted away. Monday was the funeral, so Sunday at 12:30 i went and did her hair. it was interesting doing hair on a deceased person, but i found that it wasn't bad, i mean really, i think that i'm going to look into doing this kinda of thing when i get to California because i was reading that you can make some really good money doing it. everyone thinks that i am crazy, but hey it's me, would that be a change form the normal me?
anyway, at the funeral i learned some things about Arlene that i didn't know before and i found it was really nice to hear about this side of her. all i had herd before was that she was a hard person so have as a mother, so hearing that she LOVED local dinners and LOVED being a local was nice to know. i learned that she liked so sew, coffee, cigarettes, soap operas, circus peanuts, cherry cordials and playing cards. but the thing that i learned about her that i liked the best was that she was very free spirited! in fact she loved to travel and see new places and people. it was nice to know that that, because it made me feel like even though i didn't know her too well i did in fact have a little of her spirit in me to.
my favorite story that was shared was by my Uncle Dan, she is married to my Aunt Carolyn who is my Dad's sister. so he told us this story. it was his birthday so grandma sent him a card in the mail that said something like "don't worry, your present is in the mail" so he got all excited, thinking that is was clear now that he was her favorite son in law if she was preparing something so fantastic like this. but the package didn't come. just more letters, like 20 or so, all saying "don't worry your present is in the mail". by the end he was going CRAZY with excitement to find out what this present could be. finally he gets a call from Carolyn telling him that "it came". so he rushed home, went straight to the package and.... it was a coloring book and crayons! :o)
that's grandma for ya.
my favorite memory of her was this. but apparently i'm the only one of the cousins to remember is, but one Christmas we were all playing downstairs in my aunt Carolyn's basement. i was there along with my cousin Sarah, who has a birthday right around Christmas. well grandma came down and walked right to me and said, "honey i want you to know that i didn't forget your birthday! (my birthday is in June was what i was thinking) and i got you this! (it was a McDonald's toy) i want you to know that i love you! Happy Birthday Sarah!"
oh grandma.
All in all it was a good thing this past Monday, i got to say good bye, see my family to whom i love. take a ridiculously long time picking out a movie then Heidi and i tricked the "grown-ups" to letting us watch it in the room they were all talking in. it's funny no matter how old i get i still feel like i'm 13 when i'm with everyone... :o)

So last week i got to go and see some of my favorite people, the Ellsworths! i used to babysit them growing up but now they live in Saline, it's hard to make a trip because it's so far away! but i wanted to see them before i left for Cali, so on wenesday i went for a little dinner. the evening was past by first eating a lovely meal prepared by Dana. the whole time EVERYONE was trying to get me out on the trampoline. i wasn't to keen on the idea becuase that meant some real physical activity that i wasn't prepared for after eating so much... BLA! i procrastinated a little by having them show me the chickens and the garden, both very impressive by the way. however i couldn't hold it off too long for the children where begging from the "trap" for me to come and play so i did... sigh. but it was fun. i got them to change their minds though, that catching fireflies was WAY cooler, so we did that!
all night long they had been asking me if i was ticklish, i kept saying no... though i am. finally they figured out that i had been tricking them the whole night, and so their revenge was chasing me around the house to tickle me! this went on for like 20 minutes!! it was amazing! the only way to clam them down was to tell them stories that i made up for them as i went, carefully inserting their names, saying that they were on a quest to set the table but the evil queen Amanda of forks had captured all the forks AND the princesses Karen of bowls and Lydia of plates. So knights Issac of spoons and Eli of knifes had to save the day!!!
All in all i enjoied the night! it was sad for me to see Ben and Tad all grown to be honest! and i think that 14 year old Ben now talks JUST like Neapolitan Dynamite... hehehehe. i think though that Tad knows that he will always be my boy! :o) no matter how old he gets.

so it's been forever... really it has. so i'll give you all some updates.

i went to Utah (see blog below) and Californian for two weeks
i turned 24
i had a party were i begged money from everyone
i got an ipod with above mentioned money
i have a name sake, my sister's baby and my niece will be named... Layla Mae :o)
i learned how to, now this is crazy, you're gonna love it, BUDGET!
i had buyers remorse for the first time and returned what i didn't need
i spend all my time with very crazy and cute 19-20 year old boys... i'm ok with that
i was asked to acompony someone on the piano for the first time (i don't think they have heard me play before)
i have lost the will to do anything other then watch "30 Rock" on-line

and that pretty much sums it up.

ok yeah, for anyone who hasn't heard i'm moving to California next month!! :o)
but just so you all know just how bad my addiction is to 30 Rock, the only reason why i'm writing this right now apposed to later is because i'm waiting for en episode to load... so yeah... i think it's loaded now.

oh me....

yesterday i was at a party, for the 4th ya know. everyone was outside playing giant twister, so i decided that i should play too. so when i went to walk out on the back porch i was shocked to find that the screen door was impeding me! i didn't realize that it was there and i completely took it out... it was pretty humiliating. but then that's just me...

Utah...

so as you all may have guessed by now, that i spent the last week in Utah! i went to pick up my dear little comp, Hermana Sanchez! but i flew into San Diego, met up with the beautiful Jane Lilly (future roommate) then we drove all night so that we could make it to the 2:00 session at the salt lake temple! see, La Hna Sanchez didn't know that we were going to be there that day in fact i told her that i wouldn't be there till Wednesday, also Jane had someone, Hna Park, that didn't even know that she was going to be there! so it was a great surprise! they were both very happy to see us, even though we both at one point fell asleep at least during one point in the session. the rest of the week was filled with seeing old friends, converts and investigators. but the one thing that was really cool is our little mini road trip to Manti.
Let me tell you. we were staying with my beloved Family "La Familia Ortega" when they told us that they were going to Manti that Saturday to see the pageant that they put on every year there, then they invited us to come. we had already talked about doing something that we hadn't done before because we were missionaries there. so this was just perfect. we went with them!! i'll show you all pictures and such later. but anyway, when we got there we took lot's of pictures with us and the temple, but then it started to rain a little and then there was wind like you would not believe, i felt like i was going to fly off the mountain! but i liked it and the temple was so beautiful that i was too busy basking in it's beauty to care. for the majority of the night it was SO COLD, but... you know me, i', not going to let a little rain upset me. we went and got some really good food, homemade ice cream, then we got to sit in the Spanish area in the very front. we were joking that they had to hide me and that i could only speak Spanish, and if someone asked me i should say that i am from Chihuahua, were everyone is white. i must have looked a little out of place, but no one said anything, so i guess i'm officially Mexican, because i think i blened in... sorta of... :o)
after a while i got bored and took the youngest, "Nana" for a little walk. (she's about 13) this is when i say a man with a cool little golf cart. so me being me i asked him for a ride, he asked me to where, i told him i didn't care, sooooo.... he took me to the dressing room, where only the staff were normally can go. we got to met the cast and try on some hats. turns out the guy i asked was in the "Pageant Presidency" and he gave us the grand tour! :o) when we got back everyone was like WHAT! and la Hna. Sanchez was so upset that she didn't come, i told her next time you'll trust me and come. the rest of the night was just lovey, the rain cleared up, and although it was so cold the program was cool so i enjoyed myself.
over all i liked it being there, it was good to see old friends and see how everyone was doing. now i am in Cali with my friends and i am so happy to be here and get things rolling for me to move here. everyone in Utah told me to move there instead, i do love Utah, however i think that i should never live there for the time being... but then that's another blog subject in and of itself.

#2

i got punched in the face... but i didn't get it on camera, because not only did i find out that i'm not the type of person to get punched in the face but no one even WANTS to punch me in the face.
but tonight i finally got someone to do it, but i said i wouldn't say who it was... that it would be to Harsh, so i Will not do it in order to keep my promise! :o)
but i think it could have been harder... there will be more thoughts on this matter later.

PS was looking at my flight plans for Monday, and it turns out that i have a little layover in Chicago... yeah, it's from 8:15am till 4:10pm... yeah that's like eight hours, blah! but at least i get to visit the Chicago institute of art in my lay over, and does anyone know of any good places to eat there?

Hello, I am Amanda Fulk, I recently opened an account with your company and I am trying to make a payment on my account but I have run into MANY road blocks. So this is my laundry list of things that I think are just a little messed up…
1. it cost $15 to pay over the phone? That was my first try, but when I heard that I opted for the on-line route. Because that’s ridiculous, I shouldn’t have to pay for customer service.
2. it’s crazy to set up an account to pay it. As soon as I got off the phone I tried to set up my online account to pay my bill and it “timed out” so many times that I gave up in frustration. Later I tried again and the same thing kept happening.
3. I have to pay by check? I don’t have a check book, I do all my banking online and with my bank card, so I’m not going to order checks just so I can use your online version of paying the bill. That is a BIG inconvenience. Why can’t you use credit cards like the rest of this world?
4. and lastly, the thing that made me write this letter even though I’m dying to go to bed, is after all these failed attempts I thought to myself, “it’s ok, I’ll just go WAY out of my way and pay it off in the store, maybe I’ll buy something while I’m there” but oh no wait!! I can’t! because I just read on your crappy bill you sent me that you will no longer be accepting payments in store. :o(

come on, really? I WANT to pay my bill, in fact I want to pay off my bill, I want to be a responsible spender and a loyal customer to your company, but how can I do all these things when you are treating me like crap and not letting me pay my stinking bill?
I know that whoever reads this is not responsible for the company’s way of doing things, and maybe I’m an idiot and didn’t see a way to EASILY pay the bill, but all the same, I’m just a little pissed off at the moment at your not wanting me pay my bill.
I would be ungrateful not to acknowledge that the other day they reversed my late fee that I had, so I thank you very much for that, but I don’t want to be charged another late fee because I can’t find a way to pay my bill. So please help a girl out and help me make this better.
And to help you help me,
my account number is **** **** **** **** ****
my phone number is ***-***-****, Monday is my day off and I’d love to hear from you, but if not that
my e-mail is maemaefulk@gmail.com

thank you and I look forward to solving this little problem.
Amanda M. Fulk

an unspoken rule of humanity

as of late i've had this obsession with the power that we as human beings have with just our stares! to prove that there is something to it i started a little test: while by myself driving, i look over at the person in the car next to me, now the thing that makes this interesting is that about 90% of the time they look at that exact same moment! like they were drawn by the fact that i was "thinking" of looking at them, always we make eye contact and then by some unspoken code we break it. like it's ok to look but just don't stare... well i've been staring... and yes you can feel the their thoughts though they are a car way. "Lady! don't you know the rule?!?!?!" they shift in their seats and look forward rather intently to impress on me how important it is for me to look away.
it impresses me what a look can do, or how a stare can put someone in control of another. Examples:
with one look a mother con convey to her children that she disapproves of their actions, loves them or warns them something.
people who are in love can stare in each others eyes and know what the other wants.
a women just by looking at the man she doesn't know can invite him to come and flirt with her just by catching his eye.
really it could go on and on. but what really gets me is how uncomfortable it is to look at strangers, it's almost a creepy feeling (on both ends really) so i've been thinking about it and i think that the stare conveys something really personal and we as a generally personal people don't like sharing that with people we don't know. plus when a member of the opposite sex staring at us we all pretty much assume that they want "some of this goodness, aka us" and if we don't share that feeling then it's pretty much awkward.
so, my conclusion is simply this, just like you don't talk to the strangers in the elevator or you do your darnest not to touch people while riding the subway, you just don't stare at people you don't know... it's one of those unspoken rules of humanity.
but then, i get a kick out of making people i don't know feel awkward... :o)

"Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain." Ralph Waldo Emerson

so we had a bonfire!
and it was amazing because we had PINK marshmallows! So we had Neapolitan s'mores! and we roasted pineapple, frozen mini starts and a banana.


i got to play with fire! :o)

and really we all just had a good time sitting around the fire, catching things on fire and then eating 'em!
Inga discovered that she LOVES to chase the fire sparks
and Jimmy, Bea and i discovered that we are very beautiful people! and that if you talk like you are a model in a funny accent it never really gets old!
the only thing that gets me is that i've lived in this house for almost 10 years and i never thought before, "man, it would be fun to have a fire pit is the back!"

getting punched in the face part #1

so as suggested by Jake i am writing a three part blog for this moment in my life... getting punched in the face. it's going to go like this.
Part #1 (this one) explaining the reason for the three parts and a chance for me to express my "before" emotions and thoughts.
Part #2 video of me getting punched in the face (your stoked right? y'all are gonna get to see it!) Part #3 my after thoughts on the matter.

so...
people have all been asking me the same question: why? why on the good Lords' green earth do you want to be punched in the face? well, the answer really is very simple, i just want to. that's it, there is no hidden meaning behind it. I'm telling people who aren't accepting that answer that it's like a right of passage thing for me, that i feel that everyone should have the right to their own "when i got punched in the face" story. but really it's as simple as i just wanna.
see, i like to experience, in reason, everything. Nothing that would break the commandments but anything that i can do I'll do it, because i like to take advantage of every opportunity i get. but some times people, while on their current course just don't get certain opportunities, for example, i will most likely never get to swim in the Nile. however, though that may never be an "opportunity" i can change my current course to accomplish that goal if it's that important to me, by booking a flight, becoming a professional digger person, ext. (personal philosophy of mine that i have about people in general is this: if it's really that soul burningly important to us, we will actively or subconsciously make it happen)
now at this point you might be saying, "Amanda, you are so crazy. what does all this crap have to do with getting punched in the face?" well, i don't think that i am the type of person to get punched in the face. i hate conflict, I'm not a boxer, i don't pick fights and as far as i know there is no one that dislikes me enough to actually punch me and i want to be punched in the face. so i am changing my course, i am making an opportunity for myself. because ladies and gentle men, the simple truth is this; some people wait for opportunities to be given to them and others make opportunities happen for them. plus for some reason, though i know it won't, i think that my face will break, so just to reassure myself that it won't i'm gonna do this.

so my mother said that the only thing that she wanted for Mothers day this year was a flower/rock garden in front of the house. this would have been no big deal except for the fact that we have had for many years these HUGE, UGLY, HUGE, um, BIG bushes in the front where the would be flower/rock garden was to be. so the task was this, remove 'em. :o)
i was going to do it by myself, but as i wrote in my planner that i was to do it, Adrianne saw that i was gonna do it and asked about it, so i invited her. then while i was getting started on it i remembered that Carolyn LOVES to garden, so i called her and after convincing her that this was way more fun then doing the things that she actually needed to do she came over. so the three of us had loads our fun getting really dirty pulling these large bushes out of the ground. frankly, Carolyn, i mean to be honest here and giving credit where credit is due, did most of the work! i mean, she practically single-handedly pulled all the bushes out by herself! the only thing that seems odd to me is how Adrianne and i were so dirty and Carolyn just stayed so clean! man that Carolyn, i guess she is just something amazing!

but that is not all we did, we spent time taking care of weeds and caring many a heavy rocks from the back yard to the front so that it really would be a flower-SLASH-rock garden. i have to say that at one point we must have looked rather silly. see, there was this one really big one that we had to put on this cart like thing, however the cart was low to the ground and had no way to pull or push it from a walking position. so we had to do it while crawling and it was such a heavy rock that it took all three of us. :o)
we also found a prince, oh i mean, we found a frog! i wanted to kiss it, you know to see if it was a prince but then my mother said "watch the frog turn out to be ***** ******!". (i don't want to hurt any one's feelings by saying his *name*) too appalled by the idea of it turning in to him, i didn't kiss it after all. i wanted to say something good back to my mothers (i have to hand it to her) rather clever remark, but instead i was dumbfounded and just stammered for a moment trying to find the words. but the moment past... but what i wished i had said is this... "well,
nope! still don't have anything good to say back, dangit! i wish i was clever with my comebacks!

*S.R.*

the longest week of my life...

today i went for a walk with my friend Adrian, we were talking about this past week when i realized all that had transpired. somehow in my head i was thinking that my Spanish final happened like two or three weeks ago, but really it was this past Tuesday! some how everything was drown out into what seemed like an eternity rather then a week. then it got me to thinking that it's just not fair... when a moment or day or week is really good, then it's so fleeting, almost like it couldn't have happened it moved so fast. for me that was girls camp, my mission or playing barbies with my sister Ann Marie as a little kid. yet somehow when it's hard, it's like you can live your whole life in that single moment. like when you said the wrong thing in front of someone you like, the moment you realized that they really just don't care, or when you fell and hurt your knee; you know what i'm talking about i'm sure. (oh the worse! when you are waiting for something to end! like class or church! ha! i've had a few of those moments in my time!)
but i wonder why it is that way, maybe it's human nature, like how we only remember negative things and seem to look over all the good that is in our lives. i think that the only antidote for this is to be grateful for what you got no matter how little it is. otherwise the loneliness will kill you.
so what am i grateful for tonight?
A warm bed, Tylenol PM and that tomorrow is the last day of this week! :o)
you gotta love life, don't ya? it just keeps going with or without you! :o)

Sometimes i get stuck on a song. there's always just something about it that makes it so that no other song will do it for me. so i just listen to the same song over and over again! like today on the way home from Amanda's house, i was listening to a CD Jen made me and this one song came on and there was something about it that it just completed me. so i listened... and danced to it all the way home! even when there was a cop right by me, i didn't care, i kept dancing. some things are just too good to stop.

ok! so i just want to say my little happy moments today. happy moment #1 i was at target and there was this cute little Asian lady helping me find a black skirt (i found one happy moment #3) but right as i was leaving, she looked at me and said "you look like a hairdresser" i was so taken aback by that, because i am! so i didn't say so but asked what made her say that. she said that i just had the hairdressing air or something, that all hairdresser hair looks better then others. that made me happy, i gave her my card and we both thought that it was so cool that she knew!
k- happy moment number #2, i saw "Turkish Delight" today and i bought it! i've always wanted some since C.S. Lewis! and i like it!
Last one... Happy moment #4, my coworker Ruthie, a client named Maghon and i have been talking about his thing called "bump-it" it gives you a huge bump at the crown, we all indulged that we all secretly wanted to order it. (it's on a infomercial) so tonight, i don't know what got into me, i don't know maybe it was the Turkish delight, i don't know! but it's on it's way! yeh!
so those are my happy moments hope you all enjoined 'em!

so life has been coming at me kinda crazy like lately, ive got a lot to tell you all. i had a cocktail party with fake cocktails! it was amazing, but i don't have any pictures. All the pictures that i took were on my friend Patrick's camera. so if you want to see 'em check out his blog. i'm following it so you should be able to find it rather easily. but it was a huge success in my opinion! everyone got all fancy and i made cute little appetizers that i brought out on a gold platter while Patrick made all the drinks! he was the bartista. we had some people there till about 3:00 am-ish. and that translated to me not going to bed till about 5:00am. i wanted to die. but it was good.
ok on to this WONDER of a picture here, yes it is a napkin. and my mom. (hi mom!) this past Easter Sunday i thought that i needed to "improve" myself, so what did i do? i turned to the ever so trusty you tube and learned some cool ways to fold napkins!!! it was great! they looked so darn dainty! i set the table and had a lot of fun doing it! i think i really want to have a dinner party soon just so i can set a fancy table and really get into it! so look forward to one for those that live near me!
i made some cupcakes too, i thought that they were simple but cute and just right for Easter. with their little spring colors. Dinner all in all was more enjoyable then i thought it would be. Ann Marie and Joe were not there because Ann is out of town, but other then that it my family was all there, so it was a good one after all. i hope that everyone had a good Easter then.
i have a part two for the whole ticket thing that went down last October (yes, it's still going on) but i'm going to wait till the end of the week to write about it, so you guys can get the whole story! :o)
one last thing, Sarah my cuz, got me on face book the other day and said that she liked my blog, but i didn't know till after the matter! so i wanted to give a shout out to Sarah and say that i love you and i hope you are enjoying your job! thanks for the post card too!

so think there must be something about me that makes cops really nice to me. because besides that one jerk cop that pulled me over and wrote me a ticket the ONE time i wasn't doing anything wrong, i almost ALWAYS get out of tickets. for example, i have been pulled over twice since i last blogged about my last ticket. and they both did the same thing, ask me for my info, asked me how i was doing... then explain why i was pulled over... and how i really shouldn't do that... they ask how my "record" is... i always say, "oh! i think i might have a crash on it!" (accompanied with a very sweet "pout" face) then they say, "hold on... i'll be right back." this is the point that i, like most or all people call on the name of the most high God and ask that he would get me out of this even though i am clearly in the wrong. then they come back and are like, you your record is pretty clean, don't worry about it Miss, just drive carefully! have a good night.

and then they let me go... i don't get it, even the time that i rear ended someone RIGHT in FRONT of the cop station, he did the same thing, "don't worry about it Miss, just drive carefully!" man, i don't know what it is about me. my only theory (and only because it's so late and i sharing it) is that my eyes convey this sense of awesomeness that only cops are weaken to! they just can't be mean to me! a goodness flows from me for sure! :O) that's why it's funny that i only got a ticket the one time i wasn't doing anything wrong :o)

PS the cop that pulled me over tonight, was REALLY hot! i thought about "misbehaving" so that he'd have to hand cuff me and take me in for questioning! jejejeje i'd of liked that!

Perfect! so not last weekend, but the weekend before it i went to GEORGIA! with two of the most amazing people ever! Sarah and Jimmy. and let me tell we had a blast. the ride up we feasted on cheese and crackers, listened to Jimmy way sweet "state" mix. it had songs for ever state we went through. we stopped at a local dinner and had some yummy food. and let me tell you they had the best pecan pie i have ever had! so good! the first day was a lazy one, but i liked it that way because i got to relax and sleep my little heart out. But AJ and Kaylee (Sarah's brother and his wife) took us out to eat that night and there was live music. really just a guy with his guitar, but he had a leather cowboy hat on so that's gotta count for something, eh? the next day we all went to Atlanta and went to the Aquarium there, very nice, then ate picnic style in the parking lot, man, Kaylee made us some mean sandwiches! that night we went camping, where we enjoyed hot dogs and s'mores. the best part was that we had some guitars and OH Josiah Jimmy's friend met up with us for this part. anyways, we had some guitars and we Jimmy, Josiah and i made up a sweet song about our flashlight. it was so good and heavenly that the Angels above warned us never to play it for human hears for fear that they would know what the heavenly choir sounded like and then kill themselves to be able to hear it again, so... your welcome, i just saved you from killing yourself. so camping was super cool, although my sleeping bag was so thin that i ended up in the car! :o( poor me. where as Josiah's was so warm that he was worried that, an i quote "his balls would sweat off" i had no sympathy for him. Saturday we hiked Stone mountain, i was the slowest but i didn't really care! i had some good fun! we hung out there for a bit then we said good bye to AJ and Kaylee, and the four of us headed to Atlanta again. we went to the Coke-cola place. one word. AMAZING!!!! i loved it, they 3D show was so good! and we got to drink all the coke we could fit in our tummy's. we then ate at a place called "the golden Buddha" after that Josiah departed from our mist to return to Alabama, we headed for Tennessee where we spent the night with Jimmy's Uncle and Aunt! they were SO sweet i very much liked them. Sarah and i slept together, that meant that i had to fight for the blanket the whole night! it was funny! we went to church at a local ward, the first three talks where amazing little "southern" boys just saying it like it is! then the last was this old man that didn't... ever... stop... talking... i was already spent, and he kept talking about his LIFE STORY but i lived through it... bearly. later that day we broke the Sabbath by eating at the HOME, yes mam that's right, the home of Kentucky fried chicken! and it was just as nasty as it is here in Michigan! hahah! but it was fun, even though days later we were all still sick! it was a good way to end out our little trip! so here are a few pictures! i hope you enjoy 'em!

today when i got dressed i was in a good mood, and i wanted to wear color. so i wore my very bright robin blue jacket, my bright blue flower headband then all black with some fun patterned stockings that are about on par with fishnet stockings. i felt nice and festive, and i seemed to be putting smiles on peoples faces. Kim at the nail salon said it looked nice, Jake my boss, gave me a funny look, but he seemed to be amused. then later that day as i went to cash my check the male teller was "very" nice to me, he asked me what my plans where because they looked like fun, and though i was in a hurry we chatted a little longer than normal. this is when i thought to myself, "i must look really good today in blue!" i was going to Helena's birthday party so i was picking up the gift and i got the feeling that a lot of people were giving me "stares" not bad ones, but i could for sure feel it. then at dinner Helena had some friends and i was feeling like one of them might be interested, at least to get to know me! i mean who wouldn't want to get to know some one with a blue coat and flower in her hair. then one of the guys (not the new ones, that would have been nice!) asked me out. so i was feeling pretty hot! like i'm a hot ticket or something!

on my way home my mom called and asked if i could pick her up a diet coke, so i stop at this seven-eleven near my house. the only other person in the place was the clerk. he had to be about 65 plus. as i was checking out, he commented on how pretty my flower was, then asked how much it cost. i told him it was $8 he thought that that was too much, but then i pointed out the coat, he asked how much that one was, i said $4. he was impressed. then he asked "how many years you have?" i was taken off guard for a moment but responded 23, "do you have boyfriend?" (jerk!) umm.... no. (i really hate that question) "oh, you'll get one, you are young, you'll get one! but sometimes people don't. it just happens that way. but you'll get one." well i didn't really know what to say, but i tried to be polite. then he starts to tell me that in his country that there are no boyfriends or girlfriends, people get married at 14-15. but girls are ready for "it" at 13 (spacial emphasise on the it) and then he just lets the cat out of the bag, "i've gone 10 years without sex..."
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT? really, if you guys have any good comebacks i'd like to know! i responded with, "oh, was your wife in India for that time?" "no, she is really bad to me. she no treat me good. you know single woman?" i was still at a loss, really now what could i have done? so i assured him that if i came across anyone i'd come back here and hook him up, **translation** i'm never coming into this store again, ever.
the thing is as i was relating this tale to my mother, i started to think, "i got a lot of male attention today..." then it hit me, the question that is now burning into my soul.
did i look like a prostitute today? i was modest, but come on? i really am starting to wonder..............
.
.
.
my moms thinks i should have said to him "well... i've gone 23 years with out sex, so beat that."
thanks mom.

i had a dream this morning that i was in a horrible rush, everyone was counting on me to be somewhere and do something and i was giving up a lot in order to do it. then i had to drive all the way to Ohio to do it and i was so stressed out. i had to borrow a van from an old friend and when i got the the place i needed to be i just parked it so that it was a little in the street, i wasn't worried because i wasn't planning on being there long. i did what i needed to do inside, it had something to do with missionaries and my mission president, i was talking to him and i was saying that i couldn't believe that it had been so long since i had been home. then he said that he couldn't believe that he had been home for so long either. (he's still serving) my sister Ann was there with her baby and a sister that i had served with on my mission. i ended up staying longer then i thought beforehand, i didn't feel bad about keeping to the van so long because i kept saying that i was going to buy it.

As i walked out to the van i had never felt so tired and warn out before in my whole life. and though i was beat, i was happy that i had done something good (what ever that was; because i don't remember) but as i walked up to my van i saw that the little door where you put the gas in was open. immediately i thought to myself that someone had siphoned my gas and i couldn't believe my horrible luck, that while i was doing something good something bad would happen to me! but when i got in the car i found a card that read, "no good deed goes unnoticed" then i saw all these baskets of fresh strawberries, Blueberries, cherry pies, homemade breads, and it just kept going, all from like a framers market. I've never seen food that looked to purely good. then it hit me that whoever saw that my car was parked crappy instead of judging me, figured i just needed a little extra help. when i turned on the car i saw that it had been filled to the brim with gas. i didn't see any clues as to who my benefactor was to i just drove away amazed that someone noticed me.

this is what i get from it, God notices us and has such good blessing in store, that will be better then we could ever think of. we've just got to be willing to keep doing our part even if that means we have to continue running on empty in a borrowed van.

this morning i went to a little Brazilian brunch at Adrianna G. House with Bea, her Mom and Cody S. the whole time i was working on my Portuguese, hoping to pick some up some more. i kept talking in Spanish, putting in the Portuguese words i knew. i trusted Bea not to let me say anything stupid and just ignored Cody because i knew he'd lead me astray. but my trust was misplaced, for Bea tricked me with Codys help into saying that i was pregnant! :o) (oh Bea! i thought i could trust you!)
it wasn't till her mom said it in Spanish that i found out what the laughter was about, i think that i said it like 4 times beforehand! :o)
i have to hand it to them, it was good one! and it was my favorite part of my day!

ps today i wore one of my shirts that i got for $4 at JCPenny! i love that place and i love my new little shirts! hallelujah i love the sales! Kim at the nail salon thinks i have a shopping "problem" but i say i would have a "problem" if i didn't take advantage of this crazy good sales! hallelujah, bless my soul they are good!

ok Carolyn, this sound like to much fun to pass up. normally when i get things in e-mails that says "pass this on or else your true love will hate and you'll die alone with a bunch of cats! nah nah nah nah!" i never do it. (although maybe i should have, because sometimes i think it's really coming true, and i can't help but think back on all those times i should have listen. but now it's too late for me, i've already got one cat)
Anyway, here's how this one and very much cooler one works. the first five people that respond to this blog will receive something homemade from me, either baked goods, homemade accessories and so forth. so basically you'll win "something" i will give it to you by the end of this year and you won't know when you get it, but when you do get it you'll know. crazy i know, but it's going to be amazing!
so your part is this, you have to write a post on your blog like unto this one, promising the first five people something wonderful, and when you get your gift from me, you then have to post a photo of said gift on your blog. so basically, this thing could go on and on forever! and if you ignore this thread, then your true love will nev... just kidding. but yeah do it, it sounds like fun!
PS if you live out of state i hear by promise to MAIL it to you! who doesn't love a package!
and also, i just saw that Coraline movie and it really kinda scared me, though i liked it, but the cat looked like mine, so that was weird. but really i don't think it's a kids movie though. but i'm not a kid so i liked it, and happy valentines day everyone!

so my Yoga instructor said something today that felt like a light bulb turning on. while talking about letting go and taking care of yourself she said "taking time for yourself is the lest selfish thing you can ever do. because if you don't then you start to become a burden to those around you, whether emotionally or physically."
wow.
this hit me right between the eyes. lately i have felt like emotionally i am a burden to my friends, so i'd like to say sorry for that. i realize that it's because all the crap that has been going on in my life personally and with my family, i haven't been taking time to take care of myself, therefore i am becoming emotionally stressed out. i don't like showing emotion, so instead it comes out in moodiness and constant complaining about things that frankly, i really don't care about.
so now i think that i need to focus on taking time for myself... taking care of myself! now, seems how i LOVE list, here is my list for right now...

i need to eat better (like planing my meals out)
i need to work out more, i always feel better when i do.
i need to keep my living area clean (don't get too excited mom, i'm talking about my room not the kitchen)
i need to have more good Scripture studies.
i need to have fuller prayers

so that's the list, and that's what i'm going to focus on, so that i'm not such a burden and can be more of a strength to those who need me.

PS i really, really, really, really, want to learn how to play the accordion

so, it's taken me long enough to do this, but i finally took the time to fingered out how to make a little show.... so these pictures have captions on them entonces i don't feel the need to explain. but i will say that this all took place in December and January! Enjoy!

so, i realize that my last post was REALLY depressing, but i guess that's what happens when you are trapped in the computer room after have something really depressing happen, you write about it. but really you all should count your blessing, because the first two drafts were worse... moving on, i really wanted to make one of those cool slide show things to showcase my pictures from the car show, because i got some really good ones! seems how i was at the car show i took pictures of, you guessed it, shoes! and i got some really good ones at that! but i couldn't seem to figure out how to do the slide show, so i'm going to have to do that one later, but for now i want to show you guys my three favorite pictures right now. the one to my left is of this mans shoes, they were like toe socks!! but made of this super cool light weight stuff that somehow made it a shoe! it was sooooo cool! i had been getting away with taking lots of pictures of peoples feet all day without them knowing, but this guy was a tough cookie! i had to stalk him to get a good shot!! i really felt like a stalker for real! all creepy inside and everything, but it was worth it! let's just say i love these "shoes" and i want a pair of them so that i too can feel like i am at one with the ground beneath me.
this next picture to my right is my cake!! see, i knew that i was going to fail my math test this past Tuesday, so instead of facing my problems head on like i should i did what i always do, ignore it and instead do something fun! Kinda like right now... (cough, cough...) anyway, i made this cake, it was so much fun, and i was up way late doing it. i kinda just let it flow. now i'm sure it's not the best cake ever made, but i have gotten several "wows" from people, so that is really good enough for me! i made it for Paul, because you can't just make a cake to make it, and i saved it till tonight, (Thursday) to give it to him at the 9:00pm basketball game at the church. well as it turns out, it was a 8:oopm game and Paul wasn't there... i felt silly walking in with this huge fancy cake, to watch a game that had just ended... oh man. anyway, the last picture makes me happy because i've always been a fan of Photography, as a teenager i started collecting beautiful photos from fashion magazines, many of which i still have today. (it's not that i am a pact rat, i've got a "plan" for them) but the thing is i'd always try and take a picture and it always turns out like crap. i always think in my head, "oh this angle would make a great photo!" and it never does, so i took this picture of greektown and WA-LA! a good picture! i have to say of this one (and a few others that will be in the slide show) that i am very happy with it. in fact, i'd say it's artistic. :O) i don't know why but i like it! i'm going to call it "greektown" very original i know! anyway, i'll get back to you guys with the slid show, but for now this is a little taste of the goodness to come!

sometimes people say that they can't picture me as mad or in a bad mood, i really don't understand that because a lot of these people have seen me mad before or in a bad mood. like today... and yesterday... and last Friday... i was in a really bad mood, i was very mad, but people don't really see it. i think that that is my fault, i don't like it when people know how i feel, unless it is happiness and pleasantness i don't like sharing. but lately i feel it harder and harder not to be mad, namely at people, and that is not normal for me. i think again that is my fault, because i hold it in till i just can't stand it any longer. but i also think that lately people are just kinda inconsiderate, or that they don't appreciate me like i feel i deserve. but then do i appreciate others like i should? am i considerate of others? really no, so i guess i should just stop my bitching and get on with it.
though i think that it's going to cost me in the future for all the therapy i'm going to have to go through... because i'm mad.

The joys of not taking anything too seriously...

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i feel like i should post something, it's been over a week and i haven't written even a line for you my dear ones. but i feel like there is SO much going on in my life right now that i don't know where to start! then also i'm not sure if i want everyone to know the inner workings of my head right now, well one of you know, aka Danielle, and i think Danielle that you would agree that that's just not the type of things you post for the WHOLE world to see. inner struggles are inner for good reasons.

but though nothing has really happened that is different, there is a lot of fun stuff coming up. like very soon i'm going to have some test at school and i'm super stoked for that. Carolyn and i are doing dinner for Paul, love planning stuff like that! i get to set the table so that should be fun, there may be a few concerts in the making, working out with friends, learning how to make that sugary stuff that goes on the outside of cakes which the name of it slips my mind, guitar and math classes, piano/violin duets, mexican cooking with friends, car shows, ice sculptures, yoga, A TRIP TO CANADA!! really, there is so much to look forward to it's just insane. so i am content, though often confused by my life. we'll see what happens but for now, i must go to bed. :o)



PS. i want to say "fondue" is what that sugary stuff is called but i know that that is where you have cheese melted in a pot then you stick like bread and crap in it, so that's not right...

so today was my first day of school...

it happens to all, just that most people experience it when they are like five...

but for me it came at the ripe old age of 23! still i was just as excited to start! in fact maybe a little more then the little kidos get, i don't know ask Will.

anyway, a lot of people today didn't really believe me, and the other half asked me if i regretted not having gone to school. but if the truth be known i don't regret being home schooled at all. it was right for me. plus it would have taken away from this amazing day of being sorta normal! i started with a Math Class at 8:00am. i barely made it on time because i missed placed OCC again, and it took me some time to find it. but i made it and sat next to my best "folder buddy" ever Will. all was going well in class till the teacher told us to get three names of people we could call to get notes from if needed. well, we all wrote it on the same green paper, and in the fuss i ended up with someone else's paper!! i was so upset and spent the next thirty minutes figuring out how to get my paper back. i tried to listen and say that I'll get it after class... breath Amanda, just breath... i almost didn't make it, but no worries my opportunity came and i got it back. i think that Math will be fun because Will is there, but it's going to be so hard. I'm going to be counting on you Danielle to see me through this one. :o(

but the Spanish class! that was fun! only because it was in Spanish. we were given a short story to read in Spanish, then so team up with one other person and help each other. well, turns out i was the only person there that knew how to read Spanish... because my one person multiplied in to six. i didn't blame them at all though, it's hard to read in a different language. but we had fun together... though I'm pretty much sure they have plans to copy my work... but yeah. i think that it's going to be my favorite class.

all in all it was good! AND i totally have homework! yes! for the first time ever I've got homework! because ya know, you just don't get homework when you are home schooled. but no worries, like all good students i didn't do any of it yet! :o)

YOGA!

YOGA: means to unite, or to yoke together.

Whatever it is, it's freaking awesome!

For thousands of years it was only meditation, the art of finding ones self while being still. Or even better put the art of being still. Till about two thousand years ago they introduced movement into stillness, because they found that when one could master such things like their breath and body they could master their thoughts and mind. It's not about contorting yourself into crazy poses, it's about being able to stop dealing with the world and normal stress long enough to learn how to deal with yourself. To figure out how to listen to your body and learn how to control and find your own strength. It's about relaxing, loosing up and letting go. It's about letting your body stretch and move because that is what it is designed to do, that's what it wants to do. It's about breathing! It's about changing and finding your personal edge.

basically i love it.

Today was my first day of yoga, i was a little apprehensive, not because i was scared i couldn't do it, but because learning to practice yoga is to me like going to Paris is for some people. I've always wanted to do it but for whatever reason I've just never done it. so it's been a dream of mine, but this year i want to complete some of those dreams that I've always wanted to do. like go to college, learn to really take care of myself, road trips and so many other odds and ends. I'll keep you all up dated. but for now i will report on the yoga... it's all that i ever dreamed it would be! i felt challenged but not over pushed, i felt accomplishment when even though i was the biggest in the class i was the only one that could do a back bend, (or really the pose was called "the reversed table") and really at the end of it i felt... the only word i can think of really is... GOOD! free and clean ready for the day! i felt like dynamite! or i feel like dynamite better put. so i got myself a yoga mat and i am so stoked to practice at home. why? because it feels good for me, and it feels good to live a dream. i really like the pose that i have as a picture here, i know it's not about contorting your body, but man that would be freaking sweet if i could pull that one off! :o) I'll give it some time though... :o)