today when i got dressed i was in a good mood, and i wanted to wear color. so i wore my very bright robin blue jacket, my bright blue flower headband then all black with some fun patterned stockings that are about on par with fishnet stockings. i felt nice and festive, and i seemed to be putting smiles on peoples faces. Kim at the nail salon said it looked nice, Jake my boss, gave me a funny look, but he seemed to be amused. then later that day as i went to cash my check the male teller was "very" nice to me, he asked me what my plans where because they looked like fun, and though i was in a hurry we chatted a little longer than normal. this is when i thought to myself, "i must look really good today in blue!" i was going to Helena's birthday party so i was picking up the gift and i got the feeling that a lot of people were giving me "stares" not bad ones, but i could for sure feel it. then at dinner Helena had some friends and i was feeling like one of them might be interested, at least to get to know me! i mean who wouldn't want to get to know some one with a blue coat and flower in her hair. then one of the guys (not the new ones, that would have been nice!) asked me out. so i was feeling pretty hot! like i'm a hot ticket or something!

on my way home my mom called and asked if i could pick her up a diet coke, so i stop at this seven-eleven near my house. the only other person in the place was the clerk. he had to be about 65 plus. as i was checking out, he commented on how pretty my flower was, then asked how much it cost. i told him it was $8 he thought that that was too much, but then i pointed out the coat, he asked how much that one was, i said $4. he was impressed. then he asked "how many years you have?" i was taken off guard for a moment but responded 23, "do you have boyfriend?" (jerk!) umm.... no. (i really hate that question) "oh, you'll get one, you are young, you'll get one! but sometimes people don't. it just happens that way. but you'll get one." well i didn't really know what to say, but i tried to be polite. then he starts to tell me that in his country that there are no boyfriends or girlfriends, people get married at 14-15. but girls are ready for "it" at 13 (spacial emphasise on the it) and then he just lets the cat out of the bag, "i've gone 10 years without sex..."
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT? really, if you guys have any good comebacks i'd like to know! i responded with, "oh, was your wife in India for that time?" "no, she is really bad to me. she no treat me good. you know single woman?" i was still at a loss, really now what could i have done? so i assured him that if i came across anyone i'd come back here and hook him up, **translation** i'm never coming into this store again, ever.
the thing is as i was relating this tale to my mother, i started to think, "i got a lot of male attention today..." then it hit me, the question that is now burning into my soul.
did i look like a prostitute today? i was modest, but come on? i really am starting to wonder..............
.
.
.
my moms thinks i should have said to him "well... i've gone 23 years with out sex, so beat that."
thanks mom.

i had a dream this morning that i was in a horrible rush, everyone was counting on me to be somewhere and do something and i was giving up a lot in order to do it. then i had to drive all the way to Ohio to do it and i was so stressed out. i had to borrow a van from an old friend and when i got the the place i needed to be i just parked it so that it was a little in the street, i wasn't worried because i wasn't planning on being there long. i did what i needed to do inside, it had something to do with missionaries and my mission president, i was talking to him and i was saying that i couldn't believe that it had been so long since i had been home. then he said that he couldn't believe that he had been home for so long either. (he's still serving) my sister Ann was there with her baby and a sister that i had served with on my mission. i ended up staying longer then i thought beforehand, i didn't feel bad about keeping to the van so long because i kept saying that i was going to buy it.

As i walked out to the van i had never felt so tired and warn out before in my whole life. and though i was beat, i was happy that i had done something good (what ever that was; because i don't remember) but as i walked up to my van i saw that the little door where you put the gas in was open. immediately i thought to myself that someone had siphoned my gas and i couldn't believe my horrible luck, that while i was doing something good something bad would happen to me! but when i got in the car i found a card that read, "no good deed goes unnoticed" then i saw all these baskets of fresh strawberries, Blueberries, cherry pies, homemade breads, and it just kept going, all from like a framers market. I've never seen food that looked to purely good. then it hit me that whoever saw that my car was parked crappy instead of judging me, figured i just needed a little extra help. when i turned on the car i saw that it had been filled to the brim with gas. i didn't see any clues as to who my benefactor was to i just drove away amazed that someone noticed me.

this is what i get from it, God notices us and has such good blessing in store, that will be better then we could ever think of. we've just got to be willing to keep doing our part even if that means we have to continue running on empty in a borrowed van.

this morning i went to a little Brazilian brunch at Adrianna G. House with Bea, her Mom and Cody S. the whole time i was working on my Portuguese, hoping to pick some up some more. i kept talking in Spanish, putting in the Portuguese words i knew. i trusted Bea not to let me say anything stupid and just ignored Cody because i knew he'd lead me astray. but my trust was misplaced, for Bea tricked me with Codys help into saying that i was pregnant! :o) (oh Bea! i thought i could trust you!)
it wasn't till her mom said it in Spanish that i found out what the laughter was about, i think that i said it like 4 times beforehand! :o)
i have to hand it to them, it was good one! and it was my favorite part of my day!

ps today i wore one of my shirts that i got for $4 at JCPenny! i love that place and i love my new little shirts! hallelujah i love the sales! Kim at the nail salon thinks i have a shopping "problem" but i say i would have a "problem" if i didn't take advantage of this crazy good sales! hallelujah, bless my soul they are good!

ok Carolyn, this sound like to much fun to pass up. normally when i get things in e-mails that says "pass this on or else your true love will hate and you'll die alone with a bunch of cats! nah nah nah nah!" i never do it. (although maybe i should have, because sometimes i think it's really coming true, and i can't help but think back on all those times i should have listen. but now it's too late for me, i've already got one cat)
Anyway, here's how this one and very much cooler one works. the first five people that respond to this blog will receive something homemade from me, either baked goods, homemade accessories and so forth. so basically you'll win "something" i will give it to you by the end of this year and you won't know when you get it, but when you do get it you'll know. crazy i know, but it's going to be amazing!
so your part is this, you have to write a post on your blog like unto this one, promising the first five people something wonderful, and when you get your gift from me, you then have to post a photo of said gift on your blog. so basically, this thing could go on and on forever! and if you ignore this thread, then your true love will nev... just kidding. but yeah do it, it sounds like fun!
PS if you live out of state i hear by promise to MAIL it to you! who doesn't love a package!
and also, i just saw that Coraline movie and it really kinda scared me, though i liked it, but the cat looked like mine, so that was weird. but really i don't think it's a kids movie though. but i'm not a kid so i liked it, and happy valentines day everyone!

so my Yoga instructor said something today that felt like a light bulb turning on. while talking about letting go and taking care of yourself she said "taking time for yourself is the lest selfish thing you can ever do. because if you don't then you start to become a burden to those around you, whether emotionally or physically."
wow.
this hit me right between the eyes. lately i have felt like emotionally i am a burden to my friends, so i'd like to say sorry for that. i realize that it's because all the crap that has been going on in my life personally and with my family, i haven't been taking time to take care of myself, therefore i am becoming emotionally stressed out. i don't like showing emotion, so instead it comes out in moodiness and constant complaining about things that frankly, i really don't care about.
so now i think that i need to focus on taking time for myself... taking care of myself! now, seems how i LOVE list, here is my list for right now...

i need to eat better (like planing my meals out)
i need to work out more, i always feel better when i do.
i need to keep my living area clean (don't get too excited mom, i'm talking about my room not the kitchen)
i need to have more good Scripture studies.
i need to have fuller prayers

so that's the list, and that's what i'm going to focus on, so that i'm not such a burden and can be more of a strength to those who need me.

PS i really, really, really, really, want to learn how to play the accordion

so, it's taken me long enough to do this, but i finally took the time to fingered out how to make a little show.... so these pictures have captions on them entonces i don't feel the need to explain. but i will say that this all took place in December and January! Enjoy!