as of late i've had this obsession with the power that we as human beings have with just our stares! to prove that there is something to it i started a little test: while by myself driving, i look over at the person in the car next to me, now the thing that makes this interesting is that about 90% of the time they look at that exact same moment! like they were drawn by the fact that i was "thinking" of looking at them, always we make eye contact and then by some unspoken code we break it. like it's ok to look but just don't stare... well i've been staring... and yes you can feel the their thoughts though they are a car way. "Lady! don't you know the rule?!?!?!" they shift in their seats and look forward rather intently to impress on me how important it is for me to look away.
it impresses me what a look can do, or how a stare can put someone in control of another. Examples:
with one look a mother con convey to her children that she disapproves of their actions, loves them or warns them something.
people who are in love can stare in each others eyes and know what the other wants.
a women just by looking at the man she doesn't know can invite him to come and flirt with her just by catching his eye.
really it could go on and on. but what really gets me is how uncomfortable it is to look at strangers, it's almost a creepy feeling (on both ends really) so i've been thinking about it and i think that the stare conveys something really personal and we as a generally personal people don't like sharing that with people we don't know. plus when a member of the opposite sex staring at us we all pretty much assume that they want "some of this goodness, aka us" and if we don't share that feeling then it's pretty much awkward.
so, my conclusion is simply this, just like you don't talk to the strangers in the elevator or you do your darnest not to touch people while riding the subway, you just don't stare at people you don't know... it's one of those unspoken rules of humanity.
but then, i get a kick out of making people i don't know feel awkward... :o)
Fall 2022
1 year ago
As I was reading, I was thinking that next time you're in an elevator with just one or two people, you should stare at them the whole time. Don't say anything; just stare. But then you mentioned elevators as one of the rules of civilation. I think you should do it anyway.
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