an unspoken rule of humanity

as of late i've had this obsession with the power that we as human beings have with just our stares! to prove that there is something to it i started a little test: while by myself driving, i look over at the person in the car next to me, now the thing that makes this interesting is that about 90% of the time they look at that exact same moment! like they were drawn by the fact that i was "thinking" of looking at them, always we make eye contact and then by some unspoken code we break it. like it's ok to look but just don't stare... well i've been staring... and yes you can feel the their thoughts though they are a car way. "Lady! don't you know the rule?!?!?!" they shift in their seats and look forward rather intently to impress on me how important it is for me to look away.
it impresses me what a look can do, or how a stare can put someone in control of another. Examples:
with one look a mother con convey to her children that she disapproves of their actions, loves them or warns them something.
people who are in love can stare in each others eyes and know what the other wants.
a women just by looking at the man she doesn't know can invite him to come and flirt with her just by catching his eye.
really it could go on and on. but what really gets me is how uncomfortable it is to look at strangers, it's almost a creepy feeling (on both ends really) so i've been thinking about it and i think that the stare conveys something really personal and we as a generally personal people don't like sharing that with people we don't know. plus when a member of the opposite sex staring at us we all pretty much assume that they want "some of this goodness, aka us" and if we don't share that feeling then it's pretty much awkward.
so, my conclusion is simply this, just like you don't talk to the strangers in the elevator or you do your darnest not to touch people while riding the subway, you just don't stare at people you don't know... it's one of those unspoken rules of humanity.
but then, i get a kick out of making people i don't know feel awkward... :o)

"Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain." Ralph Waldo Emerson

so we had a bonfire!
and it was amazing because we had PINK marshmallows! So we had Neapolitan s'mores! and we roasted pineapple, frozen mini starts and a banana.


i got to play with fire! :o)

and really we all just had a good time sitting around the fire, catching things on fire and then eating 'em!
Inga discovered that she LOVES to chase the fire sparks
and Jimmy, Bea and i discovered that we are very beautiful people! and that if you talk like you are a model in a funny accent it never really gets old!
the only thing that gets me is that i've lived in this house for almost 10 years and i never thought before, "man, it would be fun to have a fire pit is the back!"

getting punched in the face part #1

so as suggested by Jake i am writing a three part blog for this moment in my life... getting punched in the face. it's going to go like this.
Part #1 (this one) explaining the reason for the three parts and a chance for me to express my "before" emotions and thoughts.
Part #2 video of me getting punched in the face (your stoked right? y'all are gonna get to see it!) Part #3 my after thoughts on the matter.

so...
people have all been asking me the same question: why? why on the good Lords' green earth do you want to be punched in the face? well, the answer really is very simple, i just want to. that's it, there is no hidden meaning behind it. I'm telling people who aren't accepting that answer that it's like a right of passage thing for me, that i feel that everyone should have the right to their own "when i got punched in the face" story. but really it's as simple as i just wanna.
see, i like to experience, in reason, everything. Nothing that would break the commandments but anything that i can do I'll do it, because i like to take advantage of every opportunity i get. but some times people, while on their current course just don't get certain opportunities, for example, i will most likely never get to swim in the Nile. however, though that may never be an "opportunity" i can change my current course to accomplish that goal if it's that important to me, by booking a flight, becoming a professional digger person, ext. (personal philosophy of mine that i have about people in general is this: if it's really that soul burningly important to us, we will actively or subconsciously make it happen)
now at this point you might be saying, "Amanda, you are so crazy. what does all this crap have to do with getting punched in the face?" well, i don't think that i am the type of person to get punched in the face. i hate conflict, I'm not a boxer, i don't pick fights and as far as i know there is no one that dislikes me enough to actually punch me and i want to be punched in the face. so i am changing my course, i am making an opportunity for myself. because ladies and gentle men, the simple truth is this; some people wait for opportunities to be given to them and others make opportunities happen for them. plus for some reason, though i know it won't, i think that my face will break, so just to reassure myself that it won't i'm gonna do this.

so my mother said that the only thing that she wanted for Mothers day this year was a flower/rock garden in front of the house. this would have been no big deal except for the fact that we have had for many years these HUGE, UGLY, HUGE, um, BIG bushes in the front where the would be flower/rock garden was to be. so the task was this, remove 'em. :o)
i was going to do it by myself, but as i wrote in my planner that i was to do it, Adrianne saw that i was gonna do it and asked about it, so i invited her. then while i was getting started on it i remembered that Carolyn LOVES to garden, so i called her and after convincing her that this was way more fun then doing the things that she actually needed to do she came over. so the three of us had loads our fun getting really dirty pulling these large bushes out of the ground. frankly, Carolyn, i mean to be honest here and giving credit where credit is due, did most of the work! i mean, she practically single-handedly pulled all the bushes out by herself! the only thing that seems odd to me is how Adrianne and i were so dirty and Carolyn just stayed so clean! man that Carolyn, i guess she is just something amazing!

but that is not all we did, we spent time taking care of weeds and caring many a heavy rocks from the back yard to the front so that it really would be a flower-SLASH-rock garden. i have to say that at one point we must have looked rather silly. see, there was this one really big one that we had to put on this cart like thing, however the cart was low to the ground and had no way to pull or push it from a walking position. so we had to do it while crawling and it was such a heavy rock that it took all three of us. :o)
we also found a prince, oh i mean, we found a frog! i wanted to kiss it, you know to see if it was a prince but then my mother said "watch the frog turn out to be ***** ******!". (i don't want to hurt any one's feelings by saying his *name*) too appalled by the idea of it turning in to him, i didn't kiss it after all. i wanted to say something good back to my mothers (i have to hand it to her) rather clever remark, but instead i was dumbfounded and just stammered for a moment trying to find the words. but the moment past... but what i wished i had said is this... "well,
nope! still don't have anything good to say back, dangit! i wish i was clever with my comebacks!

*S.R.*

the longest week of my life...

today i went for a walk with my friend Adrian, we were talking about this past week when i realized all that had transpired. somehow in my head i was thinking that my Spanish final happened like two or three weeks ago, but really it was this past Tuesday! some how everything was drown out into what seemed like an eternity rather then a week. then it got me to thinking that it's just not fair... when a moment or day or week is really good, then it's so fleeting, almost like it couldn't have happened it moved so fast. for me that was girls camp, my mission or playing barbies with my sister Ann Marie as a little kid. yet somehow when it's hard, it's like you can live your whole life in that single moment. like when you said the wrong thing in front of someone you like, the moment you realized that they really just don't care, or when you fell and hurt your knee; you know what i'm talking about i'm sure. (oh the worse! when you are waiting for something to end! like class or church! ha! i've had a few of those moments in my time!)
but i wonder why it is that way, maybe it's human nature, like how we only remember negative things and seem to look over all the good that is in our lives. i think that the only antidote for this is to be grateful for what you got no matter how little it is. otherwise the loneliness will kill you.
so what am i grateful for tonight?
A warm bed, Tylenol PM and that tomorrow is the last day of this week! :o)
you gotta love life, don't ya? it just keeps going with or without you! :o)