so, i realize that my last post was REALLY depressing, but i guess that's what happens when you are trapped in the computer room after have something really depressing happen, you write about it. but really you all should count your blessing, because the first two drafts were worse... moving on, i really wanted to make one of those cool slide show things to showcase my pictures from the car show, because i got some really good ones! seems how i was at the car show i took pictures of, you guessed it, shoes! and i got some really good ones at that! but i couldn't seem to figure out how to do the slide show, so i'm going to have to do that one later, but for now i want to show you guys my three favorite pictures right now. the one to my left is of this mans shoes, they were like toe socks!! but made of this super cool light weight stuff that somehow made it a shoe! it was sooooo cool! i had been getting away with taking lots of pictures of peoples feet all day without them knowing, but this guy was a tough cookie! i had to stalk him to get a good shot!! i really felt like a stalker for real! all creepy inside and everything, but it was worth it! let's just say i love these "shoes" and i want a pair of them so that i too can feel like i am at one with the ground beneath me.
this next picture to my right is my cake!! see, i knew that i was going to fail my math test this past Tuesday, so instead of facing my problems head on like i should i did what i always do, ignore it and instead do something fun! Kinda like right now... (cough, cough...) anyway, i made this cake, it was so much fun, and i was up way late doing it. i kinda just let it flow. now i'm sure it's not the best cake ever made, but i have gotten several "wows" from people, so that is really good enough for me! i made it for Paul, because you can't just make a cake to make it, and i saved it till tonight, (Thursday) to give it to him at the 9:00pm basketball game at the church. well as it turns out, it was a 8:oopm game and Paul wasn't there... i felt silly walking in with this huge fancy cake, to watch a game that had just ended... oh man. anyway, the last picture makes me happy because i've always been a fan of Photography, as a teenager i started collecting beautiful photos from fashion magazines, many of which i still have today. (it's not that i am a pact rat, i've got a "plan" for them) but the thing is i'd always try and take a picture and it always turns out like crap. i always think in my head, "oh this angle would make a great photo!" and it never does, so i took this picture of greektown and WA-LA! a good picture! i have to say of this one (and a few others that will be in the slide show) that i am very happy with it. in fact, i'd say it's artistic. :O) i don't know why but i like it! i'm going to call it "greektown" very original i know! anyway, i'll get back to you guys with the slid show, but for now this is a little taste of the goodness to come!

sometimes people say that they can't picture me as mad or in a bad mood, i really don't understand that because a lot of these people have seen me mad before or in a bad mood. like today... and yesterday... and last Friday... i was in a really bad mood, i was very mad, but people don't really see it. i think that that is my fault, i don't like it when people know how i feel, unless it is happiness and pleasantness i don't like sharing. but lately i feel it harder and harder not to be mad, namely at people, and that is not normal for me. i think again that is my fault, because i hold it in till i just can't stand it any longer. but i also think that lately people are just kinda inconsiderate, or that they don't appreciate me like i feel i deserve. but then do i appreciate others like i should? am i considerate of others? really no, so i guess i should just stop my bitching and get on with it.
though i think that it's going to cost me in the future for all the therapy i'm going to have to go through... because i'm mad.

The joys of not taking anything too seriously...

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i feel like i should post something, it's been over a week and i haven't written even a line for you my dear ones. but i feel like there is SO much going on in my life right now that i don't know where to start! then also i'm not sure if i want everyone to know the inner workings of my head right now, well one of you know, aka Danielle, and i think Danielle that you would agree that that's just not the type of things you post for the WHOLE world to see. inner struggles are inner for good reasons.

but though nothing has really happened that is different, there is a lot of fun stuff coming up. like very soon i'm going to have some test at school and i'm super stoked for that. Carolyn and i are doing dinner for Paul, love planning stuff like that! i get to set the table so that should be fun, there may be a few concerts in the making, working out with friends, learning how to make that sugary stuff that goes on the outside of cakes which the name of it slips my mind, guitar and math classes, piano/violin duets, mexican cooking with friends, car shows, ice sculptures, yoga, A TRIP TO CANADA!! really, there is so much to look forward to it's just insane. so i am content, though often confused by my life. we'll see what happens but for now, i must go to bed. :o)



PS. i want to say "fondue" is what that sugary stuff is called but i know that that is where you have cheese melted in a pot then you stick like bread and crap in it, so that's not right...

so today was my first day of school...

it happens to all, just that most people experience it when they are like five...

but for me it came at the ripe old age of 23! still i was just as excited to start! in fact maybe a little more then the little kidos get, i don't know ask Will.

anyway, a lot of people today didn't really believe me, and the other half asked me if i regretted not having gone to school. but if the truth be known i don't regret being home schooled at all. it was right for me. plus it would have taken away from this amazing day of being sorta normal! i started with a Math Class at 8:00am. i barely made it on time because i missed placed OCC again, and it took me some time to find it. but i made it and sat next to my best "folder buddy" ever Will. all was going well in class till the teacher told us to get three names of people we could call to get notes from if needed. well, we all wrote it on the same green paper, and in the fuss i ended up with someone else's paper!! i was so upset and spent the next thirty minutes figuring out how to get my paper back. i tried to listen and say that I'll get it after class... breath Amanda, just breath... i almost didn't make it, but no worries my opportunity came and i got it back. i think that Math will be fun because Will is there, but it's going to be so hard. I'm going to be counting on you Danielle to see me through this one. :o(

but the Spanish class! that was fun! only because it was in Spanish. we were given a short story to read in Spanish, then so team up with one other person and help each other. well, turns out i was the only person there that knew how to read Spanish... because my one person multiplied in to six. i didn't blame them at all though, it's hard to read in a different language. but we had fun together... though I'm pretty much sure they have plans to copy my work... but yeah. i think that it's going to be my favorite class.

all in all it was good! AND i totally have homework! yes! for the first time ever I've got homework! because ya know, you just don't get homework when you are home schooled. but no worries, like all good students i didn't do any of it yet! :o)

YOGA!

YOGA: means to unite, or to yoke together.

Whatever it is, it's freaking awesome!

For thousands of years it was only meditation, the art of finding ones self while being still. Or even better put the art of being still. Till about two thousand years ago they introduced movement into stillness, because they found that when one could master such things like their breath and body they could master their thoughts and mind. It's not about contorting yourself into crazy poses, it's about being able to stop dealing with the world and normal stress long enough to learn how to deal with yourself. To figure out how to listen to your body and learn how to control and find your own strength. It's about relaxing, loosing up and letting go. It's about letting your body stretch and move because that is what it is designed to do, that's what it wants to do. It's about breathing! It's about changing and finding your personal edge.

basically i love it.

Today was my first day of yoga, i was a little apprehensive, not because i was scared i couldn't do it, but because learning to practice yoga is to me like going to Paris is for some people. I've always wanted to do it but for whatever reason I've just never done it. so it's been a dream of mine, but this year i want to complete some of those dreams that I've always wanted to do. like go to college, learn to really take care of myself, road trips and so many other odds and ends. I'll keep you all up dated. but for now i will report on the yoga... it's all that i ever dreamed it would be! i felt challenged but not over pushed, i felt accomplishment when even though i was the biggest in the class i was the only one that could do a back bend, (or really the pose was called "the reversed table") and really at the end of it i felt... the only word i can think of really is... GOOD! free and clean ready for the day! i felt like dynamite! or i feel like dynamite better put. so i got myself a yoga mat and i am so stoked to practice at home. why? because it feels good for me, and it feels good to live a dream. i really like the pose that i have as a picture here, i know it's not about contorting your body, but man that would be freaking sweet if i could pull that one off! :o) I'll give it some time though... :o)